Expectations
by AlyssaLucyAnne
Summary: Just a little pregnancy fanfic:)
1. Chapter 1

She was nervous when she entered the precinct bathroom. Never had something as ordinary as going to the toilet been of so much meaning, of so much influence on her life, and she was well aware of that.

The three minute wait for the result to appear on that small white stick in her hands, were the longest she had ever spent in her life.

Her shaking fingers were absentmindedly fidgeting with her wedding ring through it all, not sure what she expected, not sure what results she actually wanted to get.

It wasn't like Castle and she hadn't discussed the topic before. They had had a long conversation about it, almost 4 months ago, where they had decided not to use protection anymore and wait to see what happens. They didn't exactly try harder or anything. They had just decided to be open for the option of kids from now on.

Still she wasn't sure whether she was ready, now that she was actually facing the possibility.

Two days ago she had noticed her period was late by almost 2 weeks. She didn't want to alert Castle and give him false hopes or anything and that was why she had purchased the test on her own and was now seated in the precinct rest room, waiting for the test results, alone.

When the three minutes were finally over, she took one deep breath to gather herself, and slowly turned around the pregnancy test in her hands, only to drop it almost immediately after looking at it.

There was a red plus sign on it. She was pregnant.

* * *

When she came home that night she still hadn't figured out how to break the news to her husband.

It wouldn't be a complete surprise but she was still nervous. What if he wasn't so thrilled after all, hell she still hadn't figured out how to feel about it.

This was huge, this would change everything and as she was looking forward to being a mother, she was scared about it just as much.

She decided to ignore those thoughts for now, and just focus on the task of telling Castle.

He was in his study, still writing his new chapter.

There was an open bag of crisps next to him and 3 empty cups that were once filled with coffee.

She smiled at the sight. She would never get over the view of him writing. He was so adorable, so completely absorbed in his words and characters and stories, like he wasn't part of the real world anymore.

She loved watching him like that, excited and at peace with the thoughts in his head, content to finally get them out.

She still decided to break the spell. She couldn't delay telling him any longer. She was bursting with all those feelings she couldn't quite comprehend and just needed him for this. She needed to know how he felt about it and his words telling her that they would be great, in order to finally get rid of her insecurities and fears.

She slowly moved towards him, not wanting to startle him out of his writing state and carefully placed her hand on his arm. He noticed her instantly and looked up at her with a sappy smile on his face.

When he saw the expression on her face he saved the document on his computer and moved her so she was seated across his lap, his arm moving around her, pulling her close.

He didn't speak, for he knew that there was something on her mind and that she would tell him eventually.

She didn't know what to say.

How did all those other women do this? Were there any perfect words?

She certainly didn't have them. Words weren't her territory, so she just went for the simple solution.

"I'm pregnant'" she whispered into the crook of his neck.

She felt him go rigid and fear shot through her. All those insecurities rushing back at her.

Just when she was about to panic she felt him tilt her head up gently from where she rested it on his shoulder and looked into his unbelievably blue eyes.

Only then did she see the tears in his eyes, and the dopey incredulous grin on his face.

She had to smile then too, an open, happy and relieved smile.

She felt Castle grabbing her and before she knew what was happening, he had scooped her up into his arms and carried her towards the bed bridal style, only to throw her on the bed and jump onto it after her. She shrieked and had to laugh when his lips crushed down on hers.

The kiss was full of passion and expressed everything they felt in that moment of pure joy and happiness. They lay on the bed for a long time, their lips touching and caressing each other and only broke the kiss when air became a necessity.

"This is so amazing Kate, this will be perfect, oh my god I can't believe it. We're going to be parents…" Castle started rambling, still a little out of breath. And Kate smiled at him. Joy had filled every part of her body and she wondered how she could've ever questioned that everything would be perfect, that he wouldn't be thrilled and that this wasn't indeed the best thing that could've ever happened to them.

They would be parents. They would have a perfect little child.

And she never had to worry, because she had this perfect and loving man, right beside her, always.

**To be continued….**

Please review and let me know if you want me to go on with this!:)


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for your kind reviews and the amazing responses I have gotten for this fanfiction! I hope you'll like this chapter as well (it's probably not my best work though), and I hope you all are great!**

* * *

She had been worrying about this moment for weeks. The night they would have to tell his daughter and mother that she was pregnant, that they would add a new little member to the family. And she was terribly frightened of their reaction.

What if they would hate the idea of having a new sibling or grandchild?

They had been this well attuned team for so many years and she didn't know if they wanted a great change like that.

Castle had been trying to reassure her, telling her that they would love it, that his mother loved children and had always wanted more grandchildren to spoil rotten. And that Alexis would be the greatest big sister. But this time his words didn't stop her from obsessing about this all the time.

That was why she was now in the kitchen, preparing food, while anxiously tapping her food on the kitchen floor.

She wanted to run. Run away from all of this. Just go somewhere with Castle, where no one would judge and it all would be okay. But she knew she couldn't do that, so she just prayed that it would all turn out fine, because she didn't know how she would handle it if they indeed were to hate the idea of a baby.

She only noticed Castle's presence when she felt his arms sneaking around her waist from behind, pulling her into his broad chest. His comfortable warmth and the usual feeling of safety she got when she was in his arms enveloped her and she relaxed into him a bit when his mouth came to kiss her cheek tenderly.

"It's going to be okay"

She heard him whisper close to her ear, his breath caressing her cheek. A small smile stole its way to her lips.

Maybe it would be okay. He would stand by her side forever. And that was all she had ever needed anyways.

* * *

The dinner was almost over when Kate grabbed Castle's hand underneath the table, signaling him that she was ready to tell them now.

He turned his head, so he was able to look at her, his eyes narrowing in on her to see if she was sure. She gave him a small, tight smile to signalize that she was certain. She had to do this now. Otherwise she never would.

He nodded in her direction slightly, in order to reassure her and gave her hand a small squeeze. Then he began to talk.

"So umm…" He cleared his throat and looked at his mother and daughter before he went on speaking.

"Kate and I have some news we wanted to share with you tonight. So this is kind of huge and…"

Martha didn't let him finish and just jumped out of her chair shrieking.

"She's pregnant!" It wasn't a question and Castle and Beckett just stared at her dumbfoundedly.

"How…?" Beckett stuttered helplessly, looking at Castle for any kind of support.

It was then, Alexis decided to join in.

"Is it true? Are you really pregnant?"

Her voice didn't give away any emotions, so Beckett gulped heavily before she looked at his daughter to address her question directly.

"Yes, I really am." Her voice kind of quivered saying it.

She looked at his daughter, pleading for her to be happy. Alexis just stared at her for a moment, completely speechless and Kate started to squeeze Castles hand even tighter than before.

Then she saw a huge smile forming on Alexis' lips.

"That's amazing! Really I'm so happy for the two of you!" She said. And from the way her eyes were sparkling with tears, Beckett knew she meant it.

Only then did she let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"I'm going to have another grandchild." Martha then screamed again, still standing next to the table.

At this Beckett had to laugh, grateful for his family, for their approval and for the amazing man beside her, whose hand she had probably broken this evening.

Martha moved around the table and Castle and Beckett got up to accept her hugs and kisses. Alexis went to congratulate them too and they were standing in the loft's living room for a long time just hugging each other and talking and laughing and just enjoying the gift of having a family, which would soon grow by one member.

* * *

They had scheduled Jim to meet them on the weekend after they'd told his family. They decided to break the news to him in the little diner Kate and Jim usually met each other.

Castle was terribly nervous all week and Kate had to smile inwardly when he made them leave an hour early, just so they wouldn't be late.

He was cute that way, always so terrified that her father wouldn't approve of him.

He still felt guilty for not asking him for Kate's hand before he proposed and he was scared that Jim would freak out about his daughter being pregnant.

Kate knew that her father would love it and be more than happy and proud because of this, but Castle didn't listen to her.

* * *

The diner was almost empty, when they arrived there at 2pm. They still had about 30 minutes to pass and since Beckett wasn't allowed to drink any coffee, they had finished their third cup of tea, when her dad finally entered the diner.

They moved to get up, in order to greet him and when they were seated again Kate started a casual conversation about work until she felt Castle's hand squeeze hers gently.

She had to smile at the repetition of events. Just a week ago it had been her, now it was Castle being scared. But she was glad that they could both comfort each other in situations like these and she appreciated that her father's opinion mattered to him so much.

"Dad, there is kind of a reason we wanted to meet you today." She started the conversation lightly.

"Castle and I are expecting a baby." She knew her father wasn't fond of long talks about something that could be said with some simple words. Also she didn't really want to drag this out even longer and make the wait harder for Castle.

Her father just smiled at her. Not at all surprised by the huge news he had just gotten.

"I am so happy for you Katie." He said with an expression of joy on his face.

She looked at him in question and he snorted a small laugh.

"Katie, there are three cups of tea in front of you, when I saw you weren't drinking coffee it wasn't much of a surprise anymore." She had to smile then too. Her father got up from the porch he was seated on and enveloped her in a tight hug.

"You know your mother would be so proud of you" he whispered in her ear and she felt tears rising in her eyes.

Her mother would have loved this. By the end of the week she would have made a full plan with all the things they'd need and have it all figured out. She missed having her mom for this experience, seeing her freaking out about this. She would have gotten well along with Castle's family, especially Martha and she would have been a wonderful grandmother.

When Jim and his daughter parted again she gave her father a sad smile before she passed him on to Castle. The first second was an awkward mix of a handshake and a hug. But when Jim pulled back to speak to Castle their hands kept joined between them.

"Congratulations. I'm sure you will be an amazing father and take care of my little girl okay?" Castle smiled at this and nodded.

"Yeah, she won't let me but I'll try."

Jim had to laugh at this and Kate went to slap Castle's arm playfully, rolling her eyes in fake annoyance and smiling at him while doing so.

Jim watched the two of them in awe. He had always wished for a man like Richard Castle to come into Katie's life and give her the happiness she deserved. But he could have never imagined an outcome quite like this.

She was glowing from the inside, so filled with all that joy and love for that man beside her and the child growing inside of her. He was so happy for her and he could have never wished for a better son in law than Richard Castle. Johanna would be so in love with him. And just by seeing the look in the writer's eyes when he was looking at Kate, by seeing the two of them interact with each other, with nothing but love and care for each other, he knew, he never had to worry about his Katie anymore. Not as long as this man was right next to her, watching her back.

**I'm sorry it took me so long to update but this week has been crazy. The next update shouldn't be that long.**

**I'm kind of uncertain for the next chapter. Would you want a chapter in which they tell Lanie and the boys about her pregnancy or should I just go on without it? Please let me know!:)**


	3. Chapter 3

"God Castle, when does this finally stop?" Beckett whispered, her voice still hoarse from throwing up several times.

Castle just kept stroking her back, in long soothing strokes while holding her hair back. When she was finally sure, that she wouldn't throw up as soon as she moved, she leaned back into Castle's chest and let his arms encircle her in a tight hug.

They stayed like that for a while until Castle kissed her cheek gently and she heard him whisper in her ear.

"We should probably head back, the boys are probably wondering what we're doing for so long."

Beckett knew he was right. She had just run off from her desk and they were probably worried about her already, because this had happened a lot lately.

They had decided not to tell anybody else about her pregnancy just yet, but morning sickness and her permanent fatigue made this harder than they had anticipated.

"I don't wanna get up yet" She whined a little and she could feel Castle laughing lightly behind her, as she did so.

"Well I'd be glad to sit in the woman's restroom all day with you but I think at some point we'd get into serious trouble." He said, a smile still covering his features.

She sighed, but moved to stand up for the third time that day.

Once they were up and standing again, Castle pulled her in for a quick hug.

"Let's go fight some crime" he said enthusiastically and Beckett had to smile.

Since her pregnancy she was happier than ever that Castle was working with her and stood by her side through this all.

"Yeah, let's go."

And with that they left the precinct bathroom once again.

* * *

It was almost six, when they drove down to the morgue.

The day had turned out to be pretty uneventful. The case was just a long row of interrogations that only ended because Lanie called to tell them that she had found something they needed to discuss in person.

After they arrived at the morgue, Lanie immediately started talking about how she had been able to pull some DNA samples and that this could be a major breakthrough in their case. She was so excited and Castle was listening intently but Beckett turned paler and paler with every second.

The smell down there was overwhelming. She had never really noticed it, but the smell of death was stronger than she remembered. Her senses were heightened as well so it seemed a hundred times worse and she could feel the nausea rising.

She needed to get out of there, but she knew that Lanie wouldn't just let her run off like the boys did, without asking questions.

So she just stood there and focused on breathing evenly without throwing up.

She didn't catch anything Lanie was talking about, as she was just focusing on her breathing but when Castle and Lanie were both looking at her she knew Lanie had probably asked her some question.

"Girl, are you okay?" Lanie asked then, her eyebrows frowned, showing concern for Kate, who looked about ready to collapse.

Castle's expression had turned alarmed as well, he knew what was going on and was right now trying to make up ways to excuse a quick retreat.

But before either of them could say anything, Kate turned around, ran to the closest sink and threw up.

Castle was behind her in seconds, pulling her hair out of her face with one hand, his other hand encircling her frame to keep her standing up, as her knees were shaking badly.

Lanie watched the two of them with huge eyes and when she figured Kate was done she went over to give her some clean tissues to clean herself up.

"So you were saying?" Kate asked, futilely hoping that Lanie would just let it drop.

"Oh no girl, you don't get to throw up into my sink and just go back to normal. What the hell is going on?" Lanie answered, her arms crossed in front of her, expecting an answer.

Beckett knew she would never get out of this without answering her, so she turned to Castle to silently signalize him that they would have to tell her.

Castle just nodded and smiled at her in encouragement. She took his hand and was just about to start talking when Lanie's face suddenly lit up with understanding.

Her mouth formed a perfect O and her eyes became huge.

"Oh my god, Katherine Beckett you are pregnant!" She practically screamed at her friend.

Beckett looked at her confused but smiled at her and just nodded. Castle's hand tightened around her smaller one and she gave him an adoring smile.

"Yes, we are." She said simply, before Lanie came over to envelope them in a bone crushing hug.

"Wow girl, this is so incredible. And I'm expecting to be asked to be the god mother, just so you know."

Beckett had to laugh at this and after one quick glance at Castle she nodded at her best friend.

"We would be honored to have you as the god mother."

* * *

They had been watching her sleep for several minutes now. She looked peaceful, curled up on the break room couch. She had actually wanted to get some food but when she didn't return after half an hour Ryan and Espo went to see where she was. They had been worried about her for the past few weeks, as she and Castle had been acting off. They had been running away on several occasions and started taking the paper work home with them, instead of wrapping it up in the precinct as usual. Also they noticed that Kate wasn't drinking coffee as usual anymore and her new, weird eating habits just added to that strange behavior.

Castle had already left, he needed to get some groceries and told Kate he would have dinner ready once she got home, so Ryan and Espo were now silently discussing whether to call him to come pick her up or if they should just wake her up.

Neither of them really dared to approach a sleeping Beckett in order to wake her up. They had tried that once and it didn't end very well, so Ryan took out his phone and called Castle to come over.

The boys were debating what could be wrong with Beckett, when Castle entered the bull pen. Ryan was suggesting that maybe she was pregnant because he recognized some of Jenny's habits during pregnancy but Esposito just shoved it off without a second thought. They went silent when Castle reached them.

"Where is she?" he asked. Ryan just pointed towards the break room but before Castle could leave, Javi grabbed his arm and held him back.

"What is going on with her? Is something wrong? Is she Sick or something?" He looked honestly worried, Ryan was looking at him with a concerned expression as well and Castle couldn't take it anymore.

"Wait here okay?" He told them and wriggled his arm free from Esposito's grasp, in order to quickly reach his sleeping wife.

He had to smile as soon as he opened the door. Beckett was fast asleep, her legs pulled to her chest, her hair spread out around her.

He slowly went over to her side and knelt down next to the couch. He gently caressed her cheek and hair before whispering sweet words into her ear, telling her to wake up.

She started to move just a bit, her eyes pressing closed, a soft sigh escaping her lips. He had to smile even more. She was so cute when she was waking up.

She opened her eyes lazily.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him, her voice slurred and heavy with sleep.

"Ryan called me. Kate, we really need to tell them. They are worried about you." He told her quietly.

She blinked a couple of times before nodding.

"Kay." She just said before she started sitting up slowly. He helped her get up from the couch and the couple made its way out of the break room, towards where Castle had left Espo and Ryan.

They were looking at them expectantly.

Kate settled against Castle's side, still a little disoriented from sleeping. He put his arm around her waist to pull her into his side, where she leaned against him heavily.

He saw that Ryan's and Espo's expression had shifted to concern again and started speaking.

"So guys, something is really going on but it's positive, definitely positive. We are kind of expecting a baby."

He had imagined to toy around with the boys a bit, when he thought about how to break the news to them. But seeing as Kate was barely able to stand straight and was about to pass out from exhaustion, he just wanted to get this over with quickly, so he could get her home and to bed.

Ryan and Espo were staring at him in disbelief, trying to comprehend the information they had just gotten and Castle had to smile a bit.

Ryan broke the silence by cheerfully yelling,

"I knew it, congratulations man." And with that he pulled Castle and Beckett into a hug.

Ryan's outbreak tore Esposito out of his gaze too.

"Wow, congrats bro" He said simply before hugging Castle in a quick move. He then turned his attention towards Beckett, who was smiling at him with such a happy expression he knew that this was indeed a great thing to happen. He moved to hug her as well, whispering congratulations in her ear, while doing so.

The four of them stayed in the bull pen for quite a while, talking, joking and enjoying each other's company like they usually did.

They were a family after all, a family that would soon have a new little member joining them.

**Thank you guys again for your sweet reviews, the really got me going! I hope you liked this chapter as well. Please tell me what you think!:) **


	4. Chapter 4

_"Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart."  
― Paulo Coelho_

The bed felt way too huge that night. The warmth that was usually comforting, now felt like it was about to suffocate her. And she could feel her chest tightening more and more with every breath she took.

It had all become too much.

Her worries and thoughts were making her feel like the weight and pressure of the entire world was sitting on her shoulders, weighing her down. And she couldn't do anything to get rid of it.

Beckett could hear Castle taking long even breaths next to her. His arm was draped over her hips loosely, and he was the only thing that anchored her to reality and kept her grounded.

She needed to get out of this bed. She needed to get away, preferably somewhere cold. Some place, where time would just stand still for a while, for just as long as she needed until she could finally feel like herself again.

When she slowly starting moving to sit up on the bed, she felt Castle stir beside her and saw his eyes open lazily, still a little disoriented from sleep.

When he looked at her face his facial expression changed instantly. Worry and concern covering his features.

He had suspected something might be wrong. Kate had been far too quiet all day and he had been under the impression that her thoughts were anywhere but on the case.

Although when he had asked her about it she had just brushed it off as nothing.

It probably shouldn't have stopped him from pushing further but the case kept getting in the way and after the day they had, he just fell asleep immediately after entering the loft.

Now, in hindsight he scolded himself for not pushing her more into telling him what was bothering her and slowly raised his hand to cup her cheek.

His touch was so gentle and eased some of the pressure, resting on her chest.

She leaned into his palm, reveling in the feeling of being cared for and moved closer to him just a bit.

Only then did he know that it was safe to move a step further.

He brought his other hand closer to her face, in order to tilt her chin up just a little bit, so he was able to look at her gorgeous eyes. They were dark that night, and at unease, flickering in the soft light of his bedroom.

"Please talk to me Kate. Tell me what's wrong."

He could feel her gulp heavily after that, her head trying to free itself from his hold, as her eyes flew downwards, inspecting their blanket with newfound interest.

She wasn't moving away from him though, and after giving her some time he gently took her hand into his larger one, tracing invisible patterns on her palm, in the same soothing way he had shown her a long time ago.

She was staring at the huge printed picture on his wall when she started speaking eventually.

"What if I die, Castle? What if I die, and leave our child without a parent? What if it hates me, because I'm never there? What if I'm a horrible mom?"

She looked down again after saying this, but Castle could see the tears glistering in her eyes nonetheless.

He was looking at her with a stunned expression. He didn't expect this but after seconds of processing this information he moved even closer to her and leant down to look at her face. Her eyes flickered upwards and met his. She looked so scared, so small and it physically hurt him to see her like this.

He carefully pulled her hair out of her face before he started speaking. His words were mere whispers, spoken softly, only for her to hear.

"Kate, you can never predict the future and we've both been through enough together to know that no one's tomorrow is guaranteed, but Kate, whatever happens, to you or to me, this child will be loved. Because it has a loving family, it has you and me and our families as well as the boys and Lanie, and so very many people that will love this child to pieces. And it will never be alone. I cannot promise you that you won't die or that nothing bad will ever happen to our child. But we can do everything in our power to stop anything from happening and trust me Kate, our kid has the greatest chances. You know why?"

She shook her head just slightly and he noticed the lone tear that escaped from her eye and dropped down on her cheek. He carefully caught it with his thumb and looked at her eyes intently.

"Because you are extraordinary. And you will be an extraordinary mom. And I know our kid could never hate you. It will adore you, because Kate, you are so remarkable and amazing, there really isn't much of a choice. And whatever happens, you are not alone in this, I am here, and I have no intention of leaving you. We are in this together, and we always will be."

Kate looked up at his face, a small sad smile gracing her lips.

She leaned forwards and let herself sink into his strong arms, all the tension suddenly leaving her body.

She felt like she could finally breathe again and when Castle pulled her tighter into his embrace, she knew he was right.

There was no way they could predict the future, no way of ensuring a perfect life for their child. But she would do anything in order to make that happen when it was the time, and she had the perfect partner to do so, right by her side.

* * *

**A friend told me to put this here, so I'm also on tumblr (dancingontiptoes) and twitter (AlyssaLucyAnne) **

**Also thank you guys again for your amazing reviews and responses! I appreciate every single one of them and they really are what keep me goingJ**


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